Gupyartlen is a god.

He takes the form of a three hundred metre long, cheerful scorpion.

Gupyartlen created Mount Everest three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gupyartlen, he will not care.

If you do not believe in Gupyartlen, he will laugh at you.

Gupyartlen's most sacred site is Cuandixia in China.

Gupyartlen's Holy Commandments

1. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

2. Do not cook food in pots.

3. Retreat if seven capybaras approach from the south.

4. Erect a giant gold sculpture of Gupyartlen in the centre of the settlement.

5. Do not place pineapples upon stone.