Sogtamdavkan is a god.

She takes the form of a thin, self-confident swan.

Sogtamdavkan created Africa nine million years ago.

If you believe in Sogtamdavkan, she will not care.

If you do not believe in Sogtamdavkan, she will turn you into a rat.

Sogtamdavkan's most sacred site is Troms in Norway.

Sogtamdavkan's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about optics.

2. Do not sit in public.

3. Pray towards the north.

4. Never write about black holes.

5. Do not study bacteria on holy days.