Laktargciss is a god.

He takes the form of a planet-sized, emotional raven.

Laktargciss created bats eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Laktargciss, he will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Laktargciss, he will turn you into a snail.

Laktargciss' most sacred site is Acanceh in Mexico.

Laktargciss' Holy Commandments

1. Do not run in public.

2. Always act with purity.

3. Do not kill capybaras.

4. Hide if six snails approach from the north.

5. Never speak the names of asteroids aloud.