Ganwabkin is a god.

He takes the form of a six hundred metre long, deceitful wolf.

Ganwabkin created carbon five billion years ago.

If you believe in Ganwabkin, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Ganwabkin, he will send minions to preach to you.

Ganwabkin's most sacred site is Rautio in Finland.

Ganwabkin's Holy Commandments

1. Ganwabkin loves gulls, so they must be honoured.

2. Never eat bark.

3. Never sit near mites.

4. Never tolerate songs in holy places.

5. Do not hurt geese.