Gem is a god.

He takes the form of a six thousand metre long, stupid salamander.

Gem created matter nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Gem, he will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Gem, he will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Gem's most sacred site is Mogonono in Botswana.

Gem's Holy Commandments

1. Do not hurt capybaras.

2. Never think about dark energy near turtles while wearing magenta kilts and balancing four tin spheres on your legs.

3. Never tolerate laughter in holy places.

4. Erect a large silicon sculpture of Gem on top of all buildings.

5. Always maintain patience during fasting days.