Middadster Funrul is a god.

He takes the form of a very small, compassionate dog.

Middadster Funrul created tapeworms six billion years ago.

If you believe in Middadster Funrul, he will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Middadster Funrul, he will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Middadster Funrul's most sacred site is Sarti in Greece.

Middadster Funrul's Holy Commandments

1. Never tolerate songs in holy places.

2. Capybaras are not to be trusted.

3. Always act with patience.

4. Always cleanse your hands after touching aluminium.

5. Always keep your back turned to the east at sunset.