Somwabing is a god.

It takes the form of a corpulent, selfish tortoise.

Somwabing created parasitic wasps four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Somwabing, it will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Somwabing, it will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Somwabing's most sacred site is Khwee in Botswana.

Somwabing's Holy Commandments

1. Never skip in the presence of elders.

2. Never bounce in autumn.

3. Do not fashion tools from lead.

4. Never paint your face cyan.

5. Never play with disobedient children.