Hambemgofgab is a god.

She takes the form of a minute, sapient cyclops-rhinoceros-snail.

Hambemgofgab created an up quark four years ago.

If you believe in Hambemgofgab, she will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Hambemgofgab, she will send four elephants to rub you out.

Hambemgofgab's most sacred site is Altata in Mexico.

Hambemgofgab's Holy Commandments

1. Always face the west before speaking sacred words.

2. Do not speak of quantum mechanics near sacred fires.

3. Always make a point of helping unfortunate sheep.

4. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

5. Pray towards the south.