Nibbanvonk is a god.

It takes the form of a gargantuan, egotistical raven.

Nibbanvonk created the planet Earth two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Nibbanvonk, it will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Nibbanvonk, it will destroy your favourite star.

Nibbanvonk's most sacred site is Littoinen in Finland.

Nibbanvonk's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed nuts to seals while wearing ear rings.

2. Never think about photosynthesis.

3. Never eat carrots on fasting days.

4. Never chant in holy places.

5. Do not wear mauve clothing.