Tikmifab is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly fat, vain crocodile.

Tikmifab created matter eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Tikmifab, she will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Tikmifab, she will laugh at you.

Tikmifab's most sacred site is Omaweneno in Botswana.

Tikmifab's Holy Commandments

1. Never bounce in the presence of capybaras.

2. Erect a large aluminium sculpture of Tikmifab on top of all buildings.

3. Do not study deoxyribonucleic acid on holy days.

4. Always cleanse ash with water.

5. Never speak at dusk.