Volladfot is a god.

He takes the form of a galaxy-sized, blissful turtle.

Volladfot created silver four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Volladfot, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Volladfot, he will turn you into a snail.

Volladfot's most sacred site is Dumadumana in Botswana.

Volladfot's Holy Commandments

1. Do not utter prayers while touching zinc.

2. Do not trade with those who eat garlic.

3. You must never eat pineapples.

4. Always help tapirs.

5. Do not chop down trees.