Mifpinnurt is a god.

It takes the form of a gargantuan, fast tortoise.

Mifpinnurt created time and space two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Mifpinnurt, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Mifpinnurt, it will turn you into a goat.

Mifpinnurt's most sacred site is Insel in Germany.

Mifpinnurt's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink water in brown rooms.

2. Always store limes above ground.

3. Your children must be taught to worship Mifpinnurt.

4. Do not utter prayers while touching zinc.

5. Do not contemplate quantum mechanics during the night.