Kartagbep is a god.

He takes the form of a three thousand metre long, awesome finch.

Kartagbep created the planet Earth six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Kartagbep, he will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Kartagbep, he will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Kartagbep's most sacred site is Ulsted in Denmark.

Kartagbep's Holy Commandments

1. Respect your elders.

2. Do not speak of optics near sacred fires.

3. Never mention monkeys.

4. Pray only in shadows.

5. Never talk about dark matter near otters while wearing fawn skirts.