Popvantif is a god.

It takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, selfish rat.

Popvantif created carbon two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Popvantif, it will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Popvantif, it will not care at all.

Popvantif's most sacred site is Aimala in Finland.

Popvantif's Holy Commandments

1. Never look at stars.

2. Do not name children after manatees.

3. Erect a giant mauve sculpture of Popvantif in the centre of the settlement.

4. Do not keep six moths in a large pit.

5. Run away from violet dolphins, for they are unholy.