Tim is a god.

He takes the form of a huge, amazing meerkat.

Tim created the planet Saturn four million years ago.

If you believe in Tim, he will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Tim, he will turn you into a frog.

Tim's most sacred site is Insel in Germany.

Tim's Holy Commandments

1. Do not kill voles.

2. Fast once a month.

3. Never remain bowed at midday.

4. Always obey Tim's priests.

5. Never wear shirts.