Witvoggar is a god.

It takes the form of a heavy, idiotic warg.

Witvoggar created dark matter six million years ago.

If you believe in Witvoggar, it will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Witvoggar, it will be very sad.

Witvoggar's most sacred site is Pontelandolfo in Italy.

Witvoggar's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink alcohol.

2. Never adorn your head with black markings.

3. Paint representations of black holes on the walls of your dwelling place in violet.

4. Never go into turquoise rooms.

5. Never think ill of sick monkeys.