Wadlakbin is a god.

He takes the form of a huge, irritating mink.

Wadlakbin created the cosmos three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Wadlakbin, he will be happy.

If you do not believe in Wadlakbin, he will throw large rocks at you.

Wadlakbin's most sacred site is Brancion in France.

Wadlakbin's Holy Commandments

1. Never cross rivers at midday.

2. Never gather four ducks near bridges.

3. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

4. Erect a giant orange sculpture of Wadlakbin in the centre of the settlement.

5. Do not drink alcohol.