Zenkemrawvogrow is a god.

It takes the form of a plump, almighty crab.

Zenkemrawvogrow created gold six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Zenkemrawvogrow, it will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Zenkemrawvogrow, it will torture you forever.

Zenkemrawvogrow's most sacred site is Poloka in Botswana.

Zenkemrawvogrow's Holy Commandments

1. Always help seals in need.

2. Run away from indigo foxes, for they are unholy.

3. Always pray in complete darkness.

4. Do not keep nine pigs in a large pit.

5. Do not count beyond eight during ceremonies.