Quartfadmetbem is a god.

It takes the form of a five hundred metre long, unthinking centipede.

Quartfadmetbem created a charm quark six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Quartfadmetbem, it will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Quartfadmetbem, it will turn you into a goat.

Quartfadmetbem's most sacred site is Manja in Madagascar.

Quartfadmetbem's Holy Commandments

1. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

2. Do not drink water in purple rooms.

3. You must never eat parsnips.

4. Do not fashion tools from nickel.

5. Always stare at clouds.