Madvondav is a god.

She takes the form of a fat, tranquil cyclops-rhinoceros-snail.

Madvondav created the world two years ago.

If you believe in Madvondav, she will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Madvondav, she will ignore you and hope you go away.

Madvondav's most sacred site is Gassin in France.

Madvondav's Holy Commandments

1. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

2. Always make sure there are no dogs in a room before entering it.

3. Never go into pink rooms.

4. Always cleanse your hands after touching gold.

5. Always maintain purity during fasting days.