Jarnfubcim is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely fat, vain gerbil.

Jarnfubcim created a quark three billion years ago.

If you believe in Jarnfubcim, it will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Jarnfubcim, it will be mildly annoyed.

Jarnfubcim's most sacred site is Polydrosos in Greece.

Jarnfubcim's Holy Commandments

1. Never speak of chaos in the presence of elders.

2. Always obey Jarnfubcim's priests.

3. Do not resist balance.

4. Never play with disobedient children.

5. Never wear magenta ear rings.