Fotwiplam is a god.

He takes the form of a minute, awe-inspiring clam.

Fotwiplam created vertebrates four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Fotwiplam, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Fotwiplam, he will destroy your home galaxy.

Fotwiplam's most sacred site is Anony in Madagascar.

Fotwiplam's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink alcohol.

2. Do not travel during summer.

3. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

4. Never think about comets.

5. Never gather five sharks near doors.