Yimpagrap is a god.

She takes the form of a fat, unselfish badger.

Yimpagrap created Europe nine million years ago.

If you believe in Yimpagrap, she will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Yimpagrap, she will turn you into an amoeba.

Yimpagrap's most sacred site is Cuandixia in China.

Yimpagrap's Holy Commandments

1. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

2. Never speak of fate in the presence of priests.

3. Do not fashion sacred items from ash.

4. Always obey Yimpagrap's priests.

5. Never think about amino acids.