Tanfenteen is a god.

He takes the form of a huge, unfair cat.

Tanfenteen created an atom four million years ago.

If you believe in Tanfenteen, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Tanfenteen, he will have an extremely low opinion of you.

Tanfenteen's most sacred site is Karikalampakkam in India.

Tanfenteen's Holy Commandments

1. Do not take Tanfenteen's name in vain.

2. Never mix coconuts with oil.

3. Never sprint in holy places.

4. Erect nine gold sculptures of Tanfenteen on top of important buildings.

5. Never speak at midday.