Ratkomdun is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly large, cheerful lobster.

Ratkomdun created time and space three million years ago.

If you believe in Ratkomdun, he will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Ratkomdun, he will turn you into a plant.

Ratkomdun's most sacred site is Cusihuiriachi in Mexico.

Ratkomdun's Holy Commandments

1. Never allow capybaras to sleep beneath your roof.

2. Never record names.

3. Do not study photosynthesis on holy days.

4. Never adorn your head with white markings.

5. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Ratkomdun.