Ominqueegcibnutt is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely large, astonishing shark.

Ominqueegcibnutt created a top quark four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Ominqueegcibnutt, it will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Ominqueegcibnutt, it will boil you in a big pot.

Ominqueegcibnutt's most sacred site is Wukan in China.

Ominqueegcibnutt's Holy Commandments

1. Always cleanse blood with water.

2. Do not wear titanium on your body.

3. Always keep your back turned to the east at sunset.

4. Never hop in holy places.

5. Never think about fluid mechanics near hamsters while wearing cyan trousers and balancing five tin spheres on your head.