Podtailhinflow is a god.

It takes the form of a two thousand metre long, dishonest turtle.

Podtailhinflow created the Whirlpool Galaxy eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Podtailhinflow, it will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Podtailhinflow, it will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Podtailhinflow's most sacred site is Hej in Sweden.

Podtailhinflow's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about bacteria.

2. Do not prepare corn while wearing ear rings.

3. Do not utter prayers while touching gold.

4. Never cross mountains at midnight.

5. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Podtailhinflow.