Abhamnurl is a god.

It takes the form of a massive, unsympathetic hare.

Abhamnurl created the planet Jupiter four billion years ago.

If you believe in Abhamnurl, it will not care.

If you do not believe in Abhamnurl, it will turn you into a plant.

Abhamnurl's most sacred site is Ringsted in Denmark.

Abhamnurl's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a large gold sculpture of Abhamnurl on top of all buildings.

2. Always look after injured great tits.

3. Never talk about ultrasonics near sharks while wearing white jumpers and balancing eight aluminium spheres on your head.

4. Never approach forests carrying ash.

5. Do not make images of living things.