Catbastfeb is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely fat, fast turtle.

Catbastfeb created everything that exists six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Catbastfeb, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Catbastfeb, he will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Catbastfeb's most sacred site is Ulsted in Denmark.

Catbastfeb's Holy Commandments

1. Never speak of chaos in the presence of elders.

2. Your children must be taught to worship Catbastfeb.

3. Never eat spinach.

4. Do not study amino acids on holy days.

5. Never feed lots of garlic to porpoises while wearing violet boots.