Venpontap is a god.

He takes the form of a plump, strong jackal.

Venpontap created the planet Earth three million years ago.

If you believe in Venpontap, he will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Venpontap, he will send four elephants to rub you out.

Venpontap's most sacred site is Hej in Sweden.

Venpontap's Holy Commandments

1. Do not commit murder.

2. Venpontap loves sheep, so they must be respected.

3. Paint representations of moons on the walls of your dwelling place in indigo.

4. Never speak at midday.

5. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.