Flabrillcam is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely fat, slow rat.

Flabrillcam created the Large Magellanic Cloud two million years ago.

If you believe in Flabrillcam, he will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Flabrillcam, he will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Flabrillcam's most sacred site is Kauvatsa in Finland.

Flabrillcam's Holy Commandments

1. Flabrillcam loves dolphins, so they must be honoured.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of silicon.

3. Never proclaim while facing north.

4. Always make a point of helping unfortunate mice.

5. Never stain your back with mauve.