Hatpaklapyargofvagrapjin Rullstanrat is a god.

He takes the form of a six thousand metre long, conceited gnu.

Hatpaklapyargofvagrapjin Rullstanrat created tapeworms seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Hatpaklapyargofvagrapjin Rullstanrat, he will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Hatpaklapyargofvagrapjin Rullstanrat, he will send you a sign.

Hatpaklapyargofvagrapjin Rullstanrat's most sacred site is Gassin in France.

Hatpaklapyargofvagrapjin Rullstanrat's Holy Commandments

1. Run away from blue horses, for they are unholy.

2. Do not speak about tomatoes.

3. Do not prepare strawberries while filled with anger.

4. Do not contemplate quantum gravity during the night.

5. Never pour water over plants.