Gadontpad is a god.

She takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, happy cat.

Gadontpad created the Sombrero Galaxy six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Gadontpad, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Gadontpad, she will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Gadontpad's most sacred site is Aguaruto in Mexico.

Gadontpad's Holy Commandments

1. Do not covet oxen.

2. Never mix cherries with water.

3. Never write about optics.

4. Heed all dreams.

5. Never eat figs.