Disscumfem is a god.

She takes the form of a microscopic, confident tapir.

Disscumfem created bats three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Disscumfem, she will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Disscumfem, she will curse you and those you beget for twenty six billion years.

Disscumfem's most sacred site is Morella in Spain.

Disscumfem's Holy Commandments

1. Walk at least nine thousand metres per day.

2. Never eat green fruit.

3. Never think about ribonucleic acid.

4. Paint representations of stars on the walls of your dwelling place in gray.

5. Never wear blue coats on sacred days.