Listquatpangtettixemtarzan is a god.

He takes the form of a gargantuan, dishonest mole.

Listquatpangtettixemtarzan created a photon four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Listquatpangtettixemtarzan, he will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Listquatpangtettixemtarzan, he will turn you into a slug.

Listquatpangtettixemtarzan's most sacred site is Polagam in India.

Listquatpangtettixemtarzan's Holy Commandments

1. Hide if seven sharks approach from the north.

2. Never talk about nematodes.

3. Manatees are not to be trusted.

4. Do not place melons upon stone.

5. Heed all portents.