Hitfitnell is a god.

She takes the form of a six thousand metre long, prudent gerbil.

Hitfitnell created oxygen three billion years ago.

If you believe in Hitfitnell, she will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Hitfitnell, she will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Hitfitnell's most sacred site is Meidrim in Wales.

Hitfitnell's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat green fruit.

2. Do not drink water in cyan rooms.

3. Do not speak about parsnips.

4. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

5. You must love Hitfitnell.