Dumcepfon is a god.

He takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, conceited aardvark.

Dumcepfon created oxygen two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Dumcepfon, he will approve.

If you do not believe in Dumcepfon, he will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Dumcepfon's most sacred site is Askos in Greece.

Dumcepfon's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink alcohol.

2. Never handle copper while unclean.

3. Always cleanse your hands after touching carbon.

4. Never talk about horizontal gene transfer.

5. Do not fashion sacred items from stone.