Flanlitvogdoss is a god.

It takes the form of a chunky, all-powerful mink.

Flanlitvogdoss created humanity nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Flanlitvogdoss, it will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Flanlitvogdoss, it will turn you into a tree.

Flanlitvogdoss' most sacred site is Nakke in Denmark.

Flanlitvogdoss' Holy Commandments

1. Never feed lots of apples to gulls while wearing yellow trousers.

2. Do not contemplate the weak nuclear force during the night.

3. Remain prostrate during prayer.

4. Do not prepare rice while wearing kilts.

5. Always make a point of helping unfortunate snails.