Zoggetstiggess is a god.

She takes the form of a very long, staggering gerbil.

Zoggetstiggess created time and space four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Zoggetstiggess, she will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Zoggetstiggess, she will manifest in front of you.

Zoggetstiggess' most sacred site is Mmankgodi in Botswana.

Zoggetstiggess' Holy Commandments

1. Always act with patience.

2. Always remove trousers before touching gold.

3. Feed all hungry grasshopers.

4. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

5. Always obey Zoggetstiggess' priests.