Pibsterfat is a god.

She takes the form of a gargantuan, quiet hyena.

Pibsterfat created snails six million years ago.

If you believe in Pibsterfat, she will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Pibsterfat, she will be mildly annoyed.

Pibsterfat's most sacred site is Nanjie in China.

Pibsterfat's Holy Commandments

1. Never go into brown rooms.

2. Do not dye your hair cyan.

3. Always help sick snails.

4. Show mercy to disobedient children.

5. Respect your elders.