Yartyaktif is a god.

She takes the form of a very large, slow hare.

Yartyaktif created the planet Saturn three billion years ago.

If you believe in Yartyaktif, she will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Yartyaktif, she will destroy your home solar system.

Yartyaktif's most sacred site is Gadna in Hungary.

Yartyaktif's Holy Commandments

1. Never handle nickel while unclean.

2. Never paint your face black.

3. Hide from blue ducks for they are unholy.

4. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

5. Never feed lots of lemons to grasshopers while wearing mauve coats.