Mutnellbaf is a god.

He takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, unthoughtful mongoose.

Mutnellbaf created everything that exists three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Mutnellbaf, he will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Mutnellbaf, he will send minions to preach to you.

Mutnellbaf's most sacred site is Nakke in Denmark.

Mutnellbaf's Holy Commandments

1. Never sprint near voles.

2. Never fashion tools from clay.

3. Mutnellbaf loves swans, so they must be honoured.

4. Run away from turquoise manatees, for they are unholy.

5. Worship no other gods but Mutnellbaf.