Tanvolcam is a god.

She takes the form of a six thousand metre long, pitiless whale.

Tanvolcam created the Small Magellanic Cloud eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tanvolcam, she will be happy.

If you do not believe in Tanvolcam, she will turn you into a small brown duck.

Tanvolcam's most sacred site is Sirama in Madagascar.

Tanvolcam's Holy Commandments

1. Do not speak about aubergines.

2. Do not dye your hair red.

3. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

4. Always store onions above ground.

5. Never write about nucleic acids.