Bepzenwot is a god.

He takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, humorless walrus.

Bepzenwot created the Sunflower Galaxy seven million years ago.

If you believe in Bepzenwot, he will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Bepzenwot, he will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Bepzenwot's most sacred site is Dzhanka in Bulgaria.

Bepzenwot's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about quantum mechanics.

2. Never go into magenta rooms.

3. Never talk about the strong nuclear force near dolphins while wearing indigo trousers and balancing nine titanium spheres on your back.

4. Never write about optics.

5. Run away if five mice approach from the west.