Fumkenxen is a god.

It takes the form of a very long, generous fairy.

Fumkenxen created the world eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Fumkenxen, it will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Fumkenxen, it will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Fumkenxen's most sacred site is Nuorgam in Finland.

Fumkenxen's Holy Commandments

1. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

2. Always look after injured moths.

3. Always act with purity when addressing priests.

4. Erect a giant copper sculpture of Fumkenxen in the centre of the settlement.

5. Never wear stockings.