Vigkikpadquagaf is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly fat, selfish shark.

Vigkikpadquagaf created vertebrates two billion years ago.

If you believe in Vigkikpadquagaf, she will be happy.

If you do not believe in Vigkikpadquagaf, she will destroy your favourite solar system.

Vigkikpadquagaf's most sacred site is Phepheng in Botswana.

Vigkikpadquagaf's Holy Commandments

1. Shun those given to sloth.

2. Do not make images of living things.

3. Always act with obedience when addressing children.

4. Do not drink water in green rooms.

5. Vigkikpadquagaf loves pigs, so they must be honoured.