Fonquartsassaktityattnadtim is a god.

He takes the form of an one thousand metre long, self-confident jaguar.

Fonquartsassaktityattnadtim created humanity five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Fonquartsassaktityattnadtim, he will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Fonquartsassaktityattnadtim, he will turn you into a sparrow.

Fonquartsassaktityattnadtim's most sacred site is Kerris in England.

Fonquartsassaktityattnadtim's Holy Commandments

1. Do not stand on grass.

2. Erect a giant pink sculpture of Fonquartsassaktityattnadtim in the centre of the settlement.

3. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

4. Retreat if six rats approach from the west.

5. Do not commit murder.