Hadquattan is a god.

She takes the form of a rotund, grumpy ant.

Hadquattan created the Whirlpool Galaxy three million years ago.

If you believe in Hadquattan, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Hadquattan, she will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Hadquattan's most sacred site is Pontelandolfo in Italy.

Hadquattan's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about asteroids.

2. Always remove skirts before touching titanium.

3. Never eat parsnips.

4. Never gather six snails in one place.

5. Always cleanse your hands after touching zinc.