Fitjabdub is a god.

He takes the form of a slim, witless dog.

Fitjabdub created oxygen four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Fitjabdub, he will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Fitjabdub, he will boil you in a big pot.

Fitjabdub's most sacred site is Quenstedt in Germany.

Fitjabdub's Holy Commandments

1. Never stain your head with violet.

2. Never mix carrots with blood.

3. Always remove scarves before entering holy places.

4. Never talk about dwarf planets.

5. Never touch water while tainted.