Cimbodjarnyartfubzedbif is a god.

He takes the form of a microscopic, loving unicorn.

Cimbodjarnyartfubzedbif created the planet Venus seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Cimbodjarnyartfubzedbif, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Cimbodjarnyartfubzedbif, he will attempt to scare you with hail.

Cimbodjarnyartfubzedbif's most sacred site is Paavola in Finland.

Cimbodjarnyartfubzedbif's Holy Commandments

1. Fast once a month.

2. Do not dye your hair red.

3. Do not drink water in white rooms.

4. Feed all hungry goats.

5. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Cimbodjarnyartfubzedbif.